Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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