i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
