First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
