that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize