My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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