OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
