At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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