how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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