it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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