note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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