I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
