is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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