so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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