I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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