One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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