i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
