Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
