Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
