then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
