I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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