If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
