I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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