Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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