I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
