I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
