NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
