I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
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