I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im holly from the hills drunk
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
