he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
