cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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