So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
