YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
what the fuck happened to the tacos
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
