if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
