Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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