May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
