Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
