i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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