we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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