Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
