Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.