When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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