My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
