so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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