JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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