I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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