Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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