he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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