i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
ttyl tear gas
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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