i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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