Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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