Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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