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So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
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