dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.