And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He has the fingertips of a God
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
