i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
