But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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