I heard we made out
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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