I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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