So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
