He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
