Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
